Infidelity. A word to describe being unfaithful or disloyal to your partner. This betrayal of trust can have irreparable negative consequences for any relationship.
Most people typically think of cheating in a physical manner, whether it’s a one-night stand or an ongoing affair. But when it comes to infidelity, physical or sexual interactions are just the tip of the iceberg.
At its core, infidelity is about broken trust between partners. There are different ways a person can break this trust, one of which is emotional infidelity.
What is Emotional Infidelity?
Cheating on your spouse is unhealthy behavior, regardless of its form. Each person has their own opinion on what the bigger indiscretion would be.
In some instances, however, sex can be considered the lesser of two evils. You can get physical with someone while having a minimal connection. It’s when a bond is formed on a deeper level that emotional infidelity occurs.
Emotional infidelity is a non-sexual relationship where two people who are not partners form a bond. Often, an emotional affair begins between friends. From the friendship level, an attraction can form. Once this connection is started, the lines can become blurred, and it can be hard to reel it back into strictly platonic.
Signs of Emotional Infidelity
Differentiating between friends and something deeper isn’t always easy. Here are some signs to watch for.
1. You Talk Often
Emotional infidelity typically starts with frequent contact and communication. This can be virtual conversations or spending time together in person. A big red flag is if you’re talking outside of normal business hours or spending a lot of time texting/calling each other.
2. You Confide in Them
When you’re having a rough day or you receive big news, who do you want to share with first? If that person is someone other than your partner, it could signify an emotional affair. If you confide in this outside person about information that you don’t even share with your partner, it’s another sign.
3. You Have a Deeper Connection
When you choose a partner, they’re not supposed to be your everything. No one person can serve every role to meet each of your needs. You should be with someone who meets the big needs at the end of the day.
If you find that someone else understands you better than your partner, this could be problematic. Do you share more in common with them? Does this relationship take away from your partner? You can connect with close friends, but they should not subtract any value from your relationship with your partner.
4. You Think About Someone Else
You started as friends and followed a path with some more profound connections. Now, you might think about them more often. When you’re not with them, you wonder what they’re doing. You may find it hard to concentrate when it doesn’t involve the outside person.
5. You Keep Secrets
The line of emotional infidelity can get crossed when you start keeping secrets. You may start by omitting facts from what you share. This can eventually turn into lying to your partner.
It isn’t okay to lie to your partner, especially about your behavior toward one person. The emotional affair has gone too far.
The Outcome of an Emotional Affair
If you find your relationship at a plateau point, forming a different type of bond can feel like a relief or an outlet to meet certain needs. Emotional affairs are not the full picture of real life, though. They’re a condensed version where you each use the best parts of each other to form a bond.
When emotional infidelity is allowed to continue, it can cause a break in trust with your partner, cause pain and suffering, hurt family and friends, and lead to guilt and anger.
Are you or your partner involved in an emotional infidelity situation? Contact us to learn more about repairing your relationship through couples counseling.
